Thursday, July 31, 2014

Attention Seeking

I am torn between seeking attention and wanting to be alone..completely alone.

A beautiful article so we can understand one human need in the simplest way

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This column will change your life: we mustn't ignore attention-seekers

By: 

According to a new Canadian study, it's more emotionally damaging to be ignored in the workplace than bullied. This finding raised some eyebrows: after all, bullying's an overtly hostile act, whereas we're taught from childhood that turning a blind eye to those we can't stand is the civilised thing to do. For a simple explanation of this seemingly odd result, I refer you to the path-breaking psychologist Oscar Wilde: "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." Workplace bullying can be awful, but it does have one rather cheerless payoff: at least you can be certain that people think you're worth bullying. The ignored person (ignoree?) lacks even that chilly solace. I've often wondered why would-be standup comedians subject themselves to hecklers at open-mic nights, but perhaps that's the reason. Nobody would choose an audience of drunken hecklers; on the other hand: an audience!
One person that study wouldn't have surprised is Idries Shah, the Indian-born philosopher who died in 1996. Beneath almost everything humans do, he argued, lay an unacknowledged motive: the "attention-factor". The theory is, we need attention almost as desperately as food and warmth, but don't realise it, so we fail to understand that many everyday encounters "are in fact disguised attention-situations". In a business negotiation, you might think your only motive is to win; in an argument with a spouse, you might believe your primary goal is to get the other person to change. Yet in both cases you might really be motivated by trying to satisfy your unmet need for attention.
Crucially, "attention may be 'hostile' or 'friendly' and still fulfil the appetite for attention". A bad-tempered fight between friends is still a form of engagement: in the very act of fighting, each is acknowledging that the other matters. Since Shah's death, research has backed him up: neuroscience suggests that social isolation affects the brain similarly to physical pain, while ostracism has been identified as a key factor in some of the bloodiest US school shootings. Are mass murders sometimes a horrifyingly destructive attempt to remind the world the murderer exists?
Our failure to understand our need for attention routinely lands us in trouble, Shah believed, because it leaves us at the mercy of anyone, however unpleasant, who's willing to bestow some. When people feel ignored, a political leader who makes them feel acknowledged will acquire their support, even if he's an egomaniacal tyrant with no plans to improve their lives. A controlling or otherwise abusive partner will doubtless pay you plenty of attention, even as he or she destroys you. Worse, you'll be predisposed to believe it when you're told it's for your own good: when people lack the attention they require, Shah wrote, "they are vulnerable to the message which too often accompanies the exercise of attention towards them".
We think of "attention-seeking" as a character flaw. Start to see it instead as a universal need – met in healthy or unhealthy ways – and all sorts of things fall into place: celebrity meltdowns and internet trolling, but also many of your partner's or your colleagues' otherwise inexplicable quirks. (Or your own.) Life is an open-mic night, and we're all just trying to get noticed.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Good Read ( July 7, 2014 )

If We Don't Tie Her, She Runs Away

In Pictures: India's missing children

Meet the Man Who Rescues Child Soldiers

Hamid, the One Who Captured His Heart

African migrants in Qatar, victims of recruitment fraud and racial prejudice 

Majority of Nepal migrant deaths 'should be treated as murder'

No ‘Right to be Forgotten’ For Kuwait’s Maids

To Be Raped or to Become a Prostitute

Pakistan's Transgender Community Is Hiding Out in a Hostile City

Refugee facing deportation from Sweden saved by fellow passengers refusing to let plane leave

Egypt’s secret prison: ‘disappeared’ face torture in Azouli military jail

Amid the Atrocities: William Daniels Returns to Central African Republic

India's farmer suicides: are deaths linked to GM cotton? – in pictures

10 Facts About The Arab Enslavement Of Black People Not Taught In Schools

10 things we didn’t know before Snowden

25th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre

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72 Incredible Elephant Facts That Will Make You Want To Save Them

30 Shocking Animal Ad Campaigns That Will Make You Rethink Your Lifestyle

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10 WAYS WE BODY SHAME WITHOUT REALIZING IT:

20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You

40 Little Ways to Find Happiness in What You Already Have

20 Tiny Thoughts Crushing Your Biggest Dreams

20 Questions that Will Free Your Mind from Negativity

10 Forgotten Truths to Help You Get Through Hard Times

16 Things Emotionally Strong People Don’t Do

20 Hard Things You Need to Do to Be Happy

15 Toxic Thoughts You Need to Drop For a Better Life

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يوميات التعذيب يونيو 2013 - مايو 2014.pdf

 حساب كويتي على الانستغرام يلاحق العمالة الهاربة

حميد الذي التقط قلبه

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an old -2010-but important video
Akhdam women tell their stories of violence, injustice & poverty in Yemen

Saturday, July 5, 2014

In Another Four Years

On Tuesday, July 13, 2010, I wrote this post (In Four Years)  when the previous World Cup was over.

and these were my goals to achieve in four years, and I achieved none.

 1-  To finish paying my debts to the bank.

2- To have -or close to- have a house. 

3- To have a better sense of accomplishment in my job. Or maybe find a better job or do something that I love. 

4-To control my diabetes. 

5- To love myself more. 

6- To learn a language or two -mostly French and Spanish- by then. 

7-To attend the world cup in Brazil. i have always wanted to go to Brazil and to attend the world cup, so two birds in one stone !!!

8- Be in a better place -financially , physically, emotionally and place wise-. 
 
 
The world cup isn't over yet, and I am not watching for human rights issues. The funny thing is that I will be finishing #1&2 closer to the next world cup, unless a miracle happens. And number 7 isn't a dream at all whether it's in Brazil or any other country. 
 
 

Sunday, June 22, 2014

World Refugges

Refugees are YOU minus the house, food, security and comfort.

There are 16.7 million refugees, 1.2 million asylum seekers and 33.3 million “internally displaced persons” – people who had to flee their homes, but remain within a country-  according to figures released by UNHCR (Source)

 "Half the world’s refugees are children, many travelling alone or in groups in a desperate quest for sanctuary, and often falling into the clutches of human traffickers" (Source)

An Afghan internally displaced boy hides behind his mother as he looks on in a poor neighbourhood in Kabul on Feb. 23, 2014. (Massoud Hossaini/AP)
 A woman leans against a tree in the world’s biggest refugee complex on August 23, 2009 in Dadaab, Kenya. (Spencer Platt/Getty Images)


 
Photographed by Nariman El-Mofty/AP

 An Iraqi child who fled the violence in their home towns eats at a refugee camp near the city of Irbil, northern Iraq, on June 16, 2014. (EPA)






Sources:

Friday, February 28, 2014

Done With Teaching


After seventeen years and a half, since 1997, I am done with teaching. So that's one weight off my shoulder :)

Today I became a vice principal.

I know it's not an easy job but teaching and I aren't friends. It's not students whom I can't deal with, they are actually very sad to see me leaving, it's just being  a teacher is getting worse every year. And I am not sad to be done with it at all.

The best part is that I am going to be a vice principal at the same school I am teaching in now. I won't be the only one, usually we have more than one vice principal, so it will be interesting seeing who am I going to work with.
I already know the principal , who is glad that I will be working there and I feel the same, and that's another weight off my shoulder :)


Sunday, February 9, 2014

Good Read


It's Time for the Poor to Come Out of the Plutocracy's Closet of Shame 

Growing Up Poor is Bad for Your Brain 

10 Worst Things To Donate After a Disaster 

White Skin Isn't Just Right, It's More Successful 

Abu Dhabi's High Cost of Culture 

Palestinians in Israel: Trapped in the Ghetto

Great Women : Harriet Tubman 

The Glue- Sniffing Street Kids of Somaliland  

Child Slavery and Chocolate: All Too Easy to Find 

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How Should We Talk About Mental Health ? 

What's Schizophrenia Like? 

Mental Illness: It's Not in Your Gene 

False Memories: Why Do We Remember Things That Never Happened? 

Near-death Experience May Be Caused by Postmortem Brain Activity 

Science Sheds Light On the Moment Our Lights Go Out 

10 Most Interesting Theories That Explains Why People Dream 

Why do Our Best Ideas Come to Us In The Shower?


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Open Your Mind, on Empathy 

12 Rules for Being Beautifully Human 

10 Ways to Stop Treating Yourself 

16 Things You Have to Forget to Get Ahead 

8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong 

10 Things Happy Families Do Differently 

10 Places Unhappy People Search for Happiness 

20 Big Life Mistakes Those About To Die Would Like To Warn You About 

13 Simple Tricks to Improve Your Memory 

20 Simple Things You Can Do to Spread Kindness and Change The World 

9 Ways to Never Regret Another Day of Your Life 

10 Warning Signs That You Have Low Self- Confidence 

30 Things You Should Stop Putting Yourself Through 


Monday, February 3, 2014

What's The Point?


Warning: This is another whining post..

I might be a drama queen but hear me out...

I am not that typical but I still can't believe that life starts at 50 or 60 or whatever new age media and people who want to sell books keep telling us. I am not saying these are ages to die but you simply can't start over later in life cuz almost all your life has already gone and even if you lived to be 100 you probably going to be in lots of pain to start anything over. 

When you are 20 or 30 and you are depressed, the small voice in your mind keeps reminding you that things change and you are going to be OK,..you have at least 30 years till you are 50.
And the same happens when you are 30, you still have 20 years to 50.. 
( I don't know why I keep bring this number but maybe because it sounded too big to me or maybe because it's the number to beat before it's too late , again to me)
 But when you are 40 -like me now- that small voice keeps getting smaller and no matter what it keeps telling you, it just doesn't have that impact that makes you smile again and believe.

I don't think that I will ever believe again, I know I should never say never, but all I dream of  right now is to relax and do nothing, old people dreams. T

he dreams to be something and to have a great life is slipping away..completely. I do dream but instead of dreams that lasts for months, they last for minutes now. 

I know that I can do a lot in 10 years , but I am stuck here and it's no point in doing things that are different than the norm, and the norm isn't pretty at all. 

I can't even write anymore...there is no point !!! 

I don't want to live..I want to exist. *

* from the movie "12 Years A Slave"