Why Would You Drop the Charges?

I am reading about the lady who was abused by her drunk husband who hit her using a screwdriver . 

The article -in Arabic- here , but i guess the pictures that show what happened to her was more than enough to understand the abuse that this lady has been in and I am sure for a long time cuz such thing don't happen overnight. 

This incident has happened more than a month ago and lately the newspapers were all about how she agreed to drop the charges for a divorce and a big sum of money .

It's always surprise me why would a woman who was this much abused to let it go..

let me tell why I didn't..

We have been abused gradually in our house, first by our father against us all. Then our eldest brother against us all, then the brothers against the sisters. The abused ones always turn abusers at the end. 

Right now we are in a stage of emotion abuse and it's the worst. 

Anyway, when our younger brother grow into this big strong man and care less about people knowing he drinks and turn into a violent man all hell broke loss.

I guess if you are a reader to this blog, you would know the whole story..

But when we reached the hitting and kicking point, it all came to me.Don't know why. The last time the hit was more violent ,he grabbed me by the hair from my room and started to hit me hard especially on my back. Eventually, he stopped and ordered me to go to my room.But then we all ran out. That day and after a very long silence I asked my eldest brother to take me to the hospital and to call the police "let's press charges against him " and the marks on my body was a blessing for the first time. 

We went to the police ,then to the hospital for a report, the doctor asked why does the police need a report and we explained because we wanted to press charges and when he knew that it would be against my brother his immediate question was "why did he hit you ?". then he changed the report a bit and asked us not to do it, he felt really sorry for him, you can see it all over his face. 

That same day, before my brother hit me, he hit my mother but nothing was shown on her body, so she couldn't press charges. it was all on my shoulders. We went to the police and press the charges, he was caught and everyone was happy. We went home and in the morning another hell broke loss..

After some sleeping everyone changed their mind and words started to fly all over me. 

drop the charges, poor he, he is not aware, we will let him leave the house, we are going to get a restraining order against him....etc.

I felt it too, cuz it's OK to be a victim but to put your predator in prison is not good, right? !!

Like the rest, I was a chicken so I asked my mother what does she want, shall I do it or what ?. up until that time everyone knows how my mother favored her sons and loves them above all but that moment she begged me not to. Later on, I knew how scared she was mostly for the safety of my sister and I, with him drinking and his drunk friends coming to the home all the time, she knew something bad will happen one day. 

When we refused to let it go and continue with the case, we were left all alone literally. We would go to the court without any one, and the worst thing is when everyone, literally everyone blames my mother for the way she raised her kids and how bad they are, and an eyebrow would be left wondering "why would he hit me and not my sister", you know that indicating that I must of have deserve it.

I used to love my father a lot, a lot..but that time he said "what have your brother done to you to put him in prison, only for beating you?" . my father was standing helpless when my brother was beating you !! 

from that day my whole emotion changed towards him completely.

After almost 6 months, my brother was sentenced to 6 years and to be moved away from the city when released , the officers and the judge asked me if I want any money from him and I said no, I only wanted him out of our lives.

only a few months after that and he was released . If you read the article about the lady above you know that they were right when they told her to let it go cuz he would be  released  in a few months.

The problem is that my brother left with a vengeance and a believe that we-my mother and I- put him in prison on false accusations. He came home and when I tried to leave he grab me by the arms so hard, I had to be taken to the hospital the next morning but since i didn't treat it , my arms are in constant pain to this day along with my back. 

That day, I managed to run away from home and went to the police. Remember, he shouldn't be around us or in the home !!. two men helped me get there but the police refused to help, they said that as long as his father lives there then he can stay even if the house isn't in his father name. Speaking about father, when I runaway , my father was the one kept telling him to go check on me cuz I might go and bring the police. 

Anyway, the police won't help, So I had to call my older brother who was in Riyadh back then and he calls home and threatened him but he won't listen, so it was up to me going from place to place to find some sane police officer who would give me his number so my older brother can call him from Riyadh. At the same time, my mother left the house and meet me at my aunt's house where everyone was explaining how silly we were and what's wrong with him coming back, he is a family after all !!. Eventually a policeman give me his number to give to my brother, my brother explained the situation and that the house is in his name and that my brother is not welcome. a unit went to the house but he ran before their arrival, making sure to break a few things on his way out. We returned back very late at night with glimpses of hate from those around us.

He never came back until we allow him to during my father's burial. He still want to come back and every time he is very close to getting out of prison he would call and say the same thing "I want to come back", but the same answer is always ready "noway, not while you are still the same" .

The problem is always with everyone around you, with the same way our society thinks that blood never becomes water. The guilt they make you feel. No one from our extended family agrees to help my brother when they can because he is a drunken man but it's OK if we endured it all. 

Guilt will always consume you in such situations. 

To this day, seeing how he keeps going in and out of prison

- he is the same one I talked about in the post "The Death Penalty"- 

I keep thinking "why didn't I dropped the charges ? So what if I get disabled one day on his hand ? What if he killed me or my mother, aren't we all going to die one day ? .Is not it unfair to let a young man life pass by because he happened to beat the hell out of you every time he is drunk -and he is always drunk- ? What if you were abused all the time, you are not going to be the first or the last ?

Guilt can kill you..

If I knew then what I know now, I would of have dropped the charges and be done with life, it's easier this way.